Dog and Bird by debgrant
It sounds like the name of a British pub.
An African Grey parrot and a Red Piebald Wirehair dachshund.
I am their human.
They rise with the sun and insist I do as well.
The dog is a stomach with a nose.
The bird is scary smart with a smart mouth.
The dog pees submissively to strangers.
My security system signs say, “Beware of Leaky Dog”
The dog has short-term memory loss.
She forgets there is a bird in the house and barks anew at him every. single. day.
My bird talks. He says, “Good Morning” and “The Dude Abides”
He whoops like a Texas Aggie and reminds me Elvis has left the building.
He tells the dog to stop barking.
He also makes body noises. The sound of eating crunchy things, burps and farts.
I don’t know where he learned those.
I am just the barkeep
at the Dog and Bird.
It’s great work if you can get it.