Paparazzi for the Rest of Us

Paparazzi for the Rest of Us by debgrant

• Nah, you say. But hear me out.

• With celebrities and politicians, paparazzi - that swarm of photo gnats- is part of the supply and demand economic loop. It is clear who is doing the supply. Not so clear about who is demanding, but there are signs in the reactions to the photos.

• We - the swarm of the general public peeking over the shoulders of the photogs in the dark - are looking for signs of HUMANITY. Our yin-yang definition of humanity is anything kind because we like to see any sign that we are capable of kindness. A spontaneous hug for a stranger, a door held open. AND humanity is also anything flawed that breaks the mask of perfection so we can all feel better about our flaws. A trip up the stairs, an unmake-up stop at a grocery store, an angry-fingered gesture.

• The Swifties are their own unique subgroup. They want their girl who has been so unlucky at love to be happy at last. Protective as hell, they will look for signs of danger AND signs of real love without much actual private footage to go by. The gesture of a handhold or a side glance. If that’s not love, what is? I can’t blame the Swifties. They are having fun. The photogs are getting paid. The publicists are keeping it all going at a safe clip. At the very least, it supplies the demand for a distraction from life as only we know it OR gives us one thing we don’t have to care about…but don’t say that too loud. Swifties are everywhere.

• The rest of us…there are no paparazzi. For all the times we are tripping up the stairs, being lazy, hurting someone’s feelings…we are glad not to have photographic evidence.

• On the downside, when we are being our best selves - when we are being kind - there is rarely a witness besides the recipient. There are moments, I must confess when I do something kind, I don’t brush it off as nothing. No, I feel pretty damn good about it. So good, I look around to see if anyone noticed. And then I tell someone. Virtue signaling. Fishing for a compliment. A fancy way of saying “Look at what I just did!” And then I feel embarrassed.

• Where do I go from here? I am lifted and challenged by a definition of character I like: Character is who you are when only God is watching. When God is watching our flaws are forgiven and there is plenty of delight to go around for both of us.

• Where do WE go from here? Maybe we could be each other’s paparazzi once in a while. To notice an embarrassing flub and say, “That’s okay. I hate it when I do that too.” To see kindness done and say, “I saw what you did there…It made me proud of you, so glad to know you, to be your friend.”

Peace,

debgrant