Rabbit Hole

Rabbit Hole by debgrant

Where it started

• An internet story with video. A woman having an anxiety attack sitting on the driveway in the rain waiting for her mother to come. Her mother arrives, gets out of the car, and lays down next to her daughter in the rain and holding her hand. That it.

• The internet explodes with heartfelt emojis and comments, suspicions of a hoax, flaming arguments about anxiety disorders, and one very well-meaning person who posted a supportive quote:

“If you can’t look on the bright side I will sit with you in the dark” – Alice In Wonderland.

The Rabbit Hole I chose

• The Alice in Wonderland quote.

• One reply to the quote said, “This is my NEW favorite quote ever!”

• I agreed. It was a good quote. I may want to use it, however, I like to double-check the sources. (I got burned once - I quoted something Ted Lasso said but it turned out to be a Walt Whitman quote)

What I Discovered in the Hole

• The quote is NOT in Alice in Wonderland. It is on a lot of kitschy posters, cards, and wall plaques with Alice and the Mad Hatter. But no. It is not a Lewis Carroll quote.

• I thought it sounded more like something Winnie the Pooh would say to Eeyore, but no, not there either.

• No one knows who said it.

Why it matters

• It doesn’t matter who said it. The quote is still about what an act of love looks like. Sometimes a person can’t find a bright side. Sometimes the best thing love can do is sit with that person in the dark.

• Anxiety attacks are real. Believing that fact is the first step of compassion. The best and only next step is to meet those people where they are. The fact is I know parents who would sit in the rain on the driveway with their child having an anxiety attack. I am sure you do too. That’s what love looks like.

• I knew a pastor who was at a funeral reception in the home of the deceased father. The house was filled with people. The young son was nowhere to be seen. The pastor noticed the boy’s absence. The pastor found the boy in a dark room under a bed. With the boy’s permission, the pastor lay on the floor and crawled under the bed. They said very little, but they did share a cookie.

• There are many people grieving and anxious now for more reasons than any of us know. Many of us do not know what to say. Many of us say really dumb and hurtful things. I know. I have said plenty of dumb and hurtful things. Sitting with someone in their darkness is very uncomfortable. They will probably not remember anything you say. I can almost guarantee they will remember who was with them in their Rabbit Hole.

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